Wednesday, June 30, 2004
New Song
Sang a new song last night, called Ballad of the Lost.
When my mother was eight years old, she was sent by her father to visit her older sister in Taiwan during the Chinese civil war between the Communists and the Nationalists. While she was over in Taiwan the remaining Nationalist cities began to falter, and almost as if overnight most of the mainland fell under Communist rule. My mother went on vacation at the age of eight, and never went home.
Communication with the rest of her family, her father and mother, siblings, relatives, was cutoff for almost three decades. My mother essentially raised herself with the assistance of her older sister and various relatives who were living in Taiwan. Eventually, she came to the United States for education where she met my father. They married, and while living in the Philippines in 1970 as teachers and short-term missionaries, attempted to contact her father again via mail. They hoped that mail from a southeast Asian address would be allowed to reach his original address.
He could not be found at his old address, but some encouragement came when a long-lost relative responded to a mailing sent to another old address. But that relative failed to respond to future contacts and the trail went cold.
Shortly after my sister was born, Chinese premier Chou En-lai and U.S. president Richard Nixon re-established formal communication between the two nations, opening up the possibility of travel for ordinary citizens. Full diplomatic relations would not be restored until 1979, but the stage had been set and the doors were opening. (Learn more about this on the PBS website, The American Experience - Nixon's China Game)
I was born in 1975. A good friend of my mother was assisting in the search, and I believe that her son was the one who actually made the breakthrough. While traveling in China, he visited my mother's father's hometown. When the residents at the old address proved to have no knowledge of its former inhabitant, he started knocking on doors in the neighborhood. Finally he came upon an old man, who not only remembered my grandfather, but actually knew where he was currently living.
Through that persistent friend, contact was re-established with her father after more than twenty years of silence. During this time, her mother had passed away. Her father remarried and had children of his own through the second marriage.
When I was very young-- but old enough to recall-- grandfather came to California to visit the family he had lost almost three decades earlier. My mom's relatives pleaded with him to move to the United States but he declined. He said that he was an old man now, too old to start over in a new place, and all that he had ever known was China.
It was the last time that my mother was to see him. In the mid 1980's, he passed away. This song is for my mom.
Lyrics in their entirety are below.
Ballad of the Lost - ©2004 Dan Tan
Father where did you go today?
We crossed the ocean, then lost our way.
Did you escape from the dogs of war?
We would rescue you, but they've closed the door.
A child was I when we left our home
I've grown up now, and I'm still alone.
I dream of endings like movie scenes--
You'll wipe my tears, you'll be calm, serene.
I've children of my own, suddenly you appear
And it's been more than, it's been more than twenty years.
I can't believe my eyes, emotions buried deep inside me...
All that I thought was lost, regained in such a short time.
Father how we missed you.
Come here, let us kiss you--
And hold you now
Hold you now
And hold you now
Hold you now
Sang a new song last night, called Ballad of the Lost.
When my mother was eight years old, she was sent by her father to visit her older sister in Taiwan during the Chinese civil war between the Communists and the Nationalists. While she was over in Taiwan the remaining Nationalist cities began to falter, and almost as if overnight most of the mainland fell under Communist rule. My mother went on vacation at the age of eight, and never went home.
Communication with the rest of her family, her father and mother, siblings, relatives, was cutoff for almost three decades. My mother essentially raised herself with the assistance of her older sister and various relatives who were living in Taiwan. Eventually, she came to the United States for education where she met my father. They married, and while living in the Philippines in 1970 as teachers and short-term missionaries, attempted to contact her father again via mail. They hoped that mail from a southeast Asian address would be allowed to reach his original address.
He could not be found at his old address, but some encouragement came when a long-lost relative responded to a mailing sent to another old address. But that relative failed to respond to future contacts and the trail went cold.
Shortly after my sister was born, Chinese premier Chou En-lai and U.S. president Richard Nixon re-established formal communication between the two nations, opening up the possibility of travel for ordinary citizens. Full diplomatic relations would not be restored until 1979, but the stage had been set and the doors were opening. (Learn more about this on the PBS website, The American Experience - Nixon's China Game)
I was born in 1975. A good friend of my mother was assisting in the search, and I believe that her son was the one who actually made the breakthrough. While traveling in China, he visited my mother's father's hometown. When the residents at the old address proved to have no knowledge of its former inhabitant, he started knocking on doors in the neighborhood. Finally he came upon an old man, who not only remembered my grandfather, but actually knew where he was currently living.
Through that persistent friend, contact was re-established with her father after more than twenty years of silence. During this time, her mother had passed away. Her father remarried and had children of his own through the second marriage.
When I was very young-- but old enough to recall-- grandfather came to California to visit the family he had lost almost three decades earlier. My mom's relatives pleaded with him to move to the United States but he declined. He said that he was an old man now, too old to start over in a new place, and all that he had ever known was China.
It was the last time that my mother was to see him. In the mid 1980's, he passed away. This song is for my mom.
Lyrics in their entirety are below.
Ballad of the Lost - ©2004 Dan Tan
Father where did you go today?
We crossed the ocean, then lost our way.
Did you escape from the dogs of war?
We would rescue you, but they've closed the door.
We pray that angels wake, when you lay down to rest
God I am on my knees, is this some kind of test?
A child was I when we left our home
I've grown up now, and I'm still alone.
I dream of endings like movie scenes--
You'll wipe my tears, you'll be calm, serene.
We pray that angels wake, when you lay down to rest
God I am on my knees, is this some kind of test?
I've children of my own, suddenly you appear
And it's been more than, it's been more than twenty years.
I can't believe my eyes, emotions buried deep inside me...
All that I thought was lost, regained in such a short time.
Father how we missed you.
Come here, let us kiss you--
And hold you now
Hold you now
And hold you now
Hold you now
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Six String
Playing this Tuesday at the Six String. June 29th, 2004.
I've been bad about updating my blog lately :-(. Been a busy month, and will continue to be busy at least up through August.
Have written a couple new songs these past two months.
Thanks for reading the blog! May God bless you...
Playing this Tuesday at the Six String. June 29th, 2004.
I've been bad about updating my blog lately :-(. Been a busy month, and will continue to be busy at least up through August.
Have written a couple new songs these past two months.
- School of Life - apparently, this is a big hit with people. I've had more comments on this song than on any other song I've ever written besides The Jewelry Box. I've had people tell me that they can't get it out of their head! It's another intense song, as my songs tend to be, but uplifting. The Jewelry Box, on the other hand, has been known to make people burst out into tears O_o!!
Here's a link to the song as it was performed the day that I finished writing it. I usually don't 'release' live performances like this, but I been bad about the blog, so this link is a reward for checking my recently-neglected blog.... Lyrics in their entirety are below.(verse)
You learned to cry, you learned to laugh
You learned to stop just asking 'why?'
You looked for reason, you found rhyme
And from your depths, you learned to climb
You learned to love, and to forgive
When those you loved, they never did
They clipped your wings, confined your heart
But you broke all the walls apart!
(chorus)
You learned to fly
You learned to soar
Over all you've seen before
You learned to live!
(verse)
You learned from hate to speak with love
And from the wars to rise above
From constant conflict you learned peace
And prison shackles you released - Do You Love Me - A love song (for my cousin and his new
significant other). I usually don't do this, but since I've been bad about updates, here's a link to the first performance of this song. It's VERY ROUGH, cause I'd literally just finished writing it before I got up on stage. The chorus lyrics are below...Do you love me girl?
Do my words ring true
When I said I loved you
Words were overdue
Do you love me girl
You look so subdued
Take my hand and tell me... Do you? - Man of Second Chances - no posted recording of this yet. Wrote this last week. I like it a lot, and find myself wanting to sing it lately... Here's part of the lyrics...
I am a man of many excuses
some are real, some are in my head
I live life in and out of the shadows
Am I better off living or dead?
I am a man of second chances
Given grace where there was none
In my remorse and my regret
Fall to my knees, I come undone... - Not Finished Yet - wrote this sometime last month. Hasn't been performed yet. Sample of the lyrics...
You try to walk through every situation,
Pretend you're cool and composed as a can be
You try to hide all the hidden confirmation
That buried deep, you're just wanting to scream...
Thanks for reading the blog! May God bless you...
